Sweetheart, Put The Bottle Down
by Radd Rach
Summary: Bella Swan made a horrible mistake that changed her life with Edward Cullen. Can things ever be the same between them and true love find a way? Or will it tear them apart? Angstiness. AH. OOC. Lemony.
1. Mistakes

**A/N:**

**I have to do this, I just can't help myself.**

**This story has been stuck in my head and if I don't get it out, I feel like my head is going to explode.**

**Has anyone has ever heard the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisely? I was listening to it and it gave me an idea.**

**And let me tell you, that video makes me wanna get in corner and cry. It's so sad.**

**So, this story kinda goes with it, but it has some different aspects.**

**BPOV.**

I loved him.

It was that simple.

End of story.

But, I didn't know how to get him to understand. He wouldn't listen to me.

I tried calling him and even showed up at his apartment a couple of times and he would never answer the door.

The key was gone from where it usually stayed and he had taken the spare key he gave to me away.

No one had seen him for a couple of days and I was starting to worry about him.

Alice had even tried going over there, but he would talk to no one.

And it broke my heart. I couldn't live like this.

I needed him in my life. He was my constant, the one I could depend on. He was always there for me and gave me whatever I needed.

And then I had to go and mess it up. I blamed myself for all of it. I should have just stopped it, but for some reason I just couldn't and I hated _myself_ for it.

I had spend the last week sobbing in my apartment, wishing that this was all just a dream and when I woke up, I would be in Edward's arms.

He had saved me.

Our time together was the best time in my life. I never wanted to be parted with him. He was my rock and comforted me when I needed it.

He held me in his arms and let me soak his shirt with my tears when my mom died.

He bought me an apartment because I couldn't afford one by myself.

When my dad tried to contact me, he picked up the phone and threatened to kill him if he ever came near me.

He kept me safe and for the rest of my life I would always be indebted to him.

I trusted him with my life and would go to the ends of the earth with him.

He was my heart and soul.

He was my _everything._

And I had let him down. After 3 years together, I had broken his trust down in a matter of seconds.

I was stupid and I knew it.

I was the biggest moron in the history of morons.

And there was not a damn thing I could do about it.

I sickened myself. I should burn in the lowest, fiery pits of hell.

I deserved nothing else, not even him anymore.

None of his family would talk to me anymore and they told me not to contact him; he didn't need anyone like me making matters worse.

Because after all, it was my fault.

I accepted that. I knew when I was wrong and in this case, I had caused an innocent man his life according to Alice.

She was the only one who would talk to me about him and she told me that he had came to see her after what had happened and had talked to him once on the phone.

Alice was very terse in what she told me about him. She kind of blamed me too, but she understood my dilemma.

But, it wasn't an excuse for what I did to him and it never would be.

She said that he had taken up drinking and that on the phone he was slurring and not all there.

I cried when she told me that.

I hated myself for what I had done to him.

I didn't know if I could ever forgive myself.

**A/N:**

**Ok, so this story is going to be very sad, but it will have a happy ending. I'm a sucker for happy endings.**

**And don't worry; there will be lemons!! Haha.**

**Review and let me know what you think.**


	2. Meeting

**A/N:**

**So, about 2 minutes after I posted this story, I had like 5 alerts! It made me ecstatic! **

**Anyway, thanks for all the alerts and reviews I have gotten. It makes me want to write faster!**

**But, enough of my drabble, here's the chapter and last chapter was BPOV just to let you know.**

**EPOV.**

I hated her.

How could she have done this to me? I love her…I mean _loved _her.

I would have given her anything she wanted, but apparently I meant nothing to her.

She threw me away like a dirty rag.

Like she wanted something new and better.

I just tried to love her, never make her want for anything ever again, take the pain away from her.

I was sitting in my house, in the clothes I had been in for the past four days; a grey hoodie and jeans, no shoes.

Sitting in front of the TV with bottles littered around me, all of them empty. I needed to forget about _her,_ forget about what she had done to me.

I was an idiot to think she actually loved me back. She was incapable of it. I should have figured that out.

But, that _bitch _made me believe in her. She made me think that she had given me her heart.

In reality, all she gave me was _nothing._ In our entire relationship, I had always been the one to give her everything of myself and never told back.

We never kept secrets, well I never kept secrets from her and I was honest to a't' with her.

I could tell she held back on me sometimes, only giving me a part of her.

And I accepted that because of her past.

When I had first met her, she was a mess.

I met her at the hospital, caring for her mom. I was her mom's doctor and from the day I had met her, she was beautiful.

Her face was then printed on my mind and whenever I saw her my world got brighter. She was funny, smart, and caring.

She often stayed with her mom, holding her hand and doing stuff for her, never leaving her side.

And that made me like her even more; it made me think that if she cared this much for her mom then maybe she could care for me with just as much enthusiasm.

She was all I could think about and one day I finally got the courage to ask her on a date.

She said yes and we went out the very next day.

We kept seeing each other for about 6 months before her mom passed. And that took some more of her away from me.

I went with her to the funeral and let her stay at my place for a couple of days.

I let her cry into my shirt, soaking it, just holding her until her crying stopped.

She cried for hours and I was there for her.

A couple more months went by and we got closer.

We had been dating for a year when she had gotten kicked out of her apartment. She couldn't pay the rent apparently.

I thought this was my chance for her to move in with me, so I asked her.

She said no.

She said it was too soon and that just to give her more time and then one day she would.

I said ok, even though I should have seen that warning sign, but I didn't, because with her she had no faults.

So, I did the only thing I could think of.

I bought her an apartment.

She cried when I did that and told me someday she would pay me back, somehow.

At this time, we had never had sex.

I didn't want to push her, but sometimes it was all I could think about.

Especially when she would prance around my apartment in nothing but a towel.

It was heavenly torture.

We had only gotten to 3rd base and I wanted to go all the way.

I told her and she said it still didn't feel right and when it did feel right then she would have sex with me, just give her time.

So I did.

I knew Bella was a virgin. She had told me when we started dating.

And I was thrilled that she wanted me to be her first and hopefully only one.

So I waited another six months, giving her time and letting her make all the moves.

I would only go as far as she wanted.

I can still remember the night it happened.

***Flashback***

_I was getting off from a long day at work and when I got to my apartment, I smelled something amazing._

_I walked into the kitchen and there was Bella; making mushroom ravioli, looking ravishing in a little, black dress._

_I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her neck._

"_This smells delicious, Bella." I said._

_She turned around and snaked her hands around my neck. "Thank you, Edward. I made it especially for you." She said, smiling._

_I leaned in and kissed her, licking her bottom lip. She opened her mouth and I thrust my tongue in, dominating the kiss._

_Bella moaned into my mouth, fisting her hands into my hair, trying to get me closer._

_Breathless, I pulled back and stared into her big, chocolate eyes. "What's the special occasion?" I asked._

_She blushed and looked down._

_I lifted her chin up with my hand and cupped her face. "You can tell me, Bella. What is it?"_

"_Well," she started "Iwantohavesexwithyou." She said quickly._

"_What did you say? I couldn't understand you."_

_She took a deep breath and said, "I. Want. To. Have. Sex. With. You." Pausing between every word._

_My breath caught and I'm sure I must have had a shocked expression because she blushed._

"_We don't have to, I just though th-"_

_I cut her off. "Of course I want to, Bella, but only if you're sure." I said._

_She placed her hands on mine and nodded her head._

"_Dinner can wait." I whispered in her ear._

_I picked her up bridal-style and carried her into my room and laid her on the bed._

_She was so beautiful._

_Bella stood up and stared at me._

_I was in front of her, both of us just standing there, staring at each other, and not saying anything._

_After what it seemed like an eternity, she moved her hand to her dress._

_She moved the straps off her shoulders and grabbed the zipper. Unzipping the dress, it fell and pooled around her feet, leaving her in nothing else._

_All I could do was stare at her, watching the dress fall to her feet._

_I was transfixed at the sight before me and all I could think of was Bella, Bella, and Bella._

_I started to unbutton my shirt, when Bella brought her hands up and stopped me._

"_Let me do it." She said in a hushed tone as she stepped out of her dress._

_I dropped my hands and watched her fumble with the buttons._

_After she had undone one button, I could feel her skin touch mine and it sent chills down my spine._

_I was getting harder with every brush of her skin and I was going crazy with need._

_Finally, she had unbuttoned them all and she pushed my shirt off my shoulders and on to the floor._

_I fumbled with my belt and got it undone and took it off. I unzipped my pants and slid them down my legs, stepping out of them._

_Now, I was in my boxers and Bella was naked._

_Naked._

_Bella started to kiss me and I pushed her away._

_She looked confused for a moment._

"_I just want to look at you first, Bella." I explained._

_She stepped back and I raked my gaze over her naked body._

_Naked._

_She blushed at my intense stare and I met her gaze._

_Pulling her into my arms, I gently laid her down on the bed and crawled on top of her._

_I kissed her and she ran her hands up and down my back, making me shiver with want._

_Bella took her feet pushed my boxers down with her toes, so now we were both completely naked._

_Naked._

_I picked my head up and looked into Bella's eyes._

_I didn't want any foreplay now. I wanted Bella to be mine. I needed to be in her now._

_Positioning myself at her entrance, Bella nodded slightly, giving me permission to continue._

_I pushed in her and my head slipped in, and fuck she was so TIGHT._

_I heard Bella moan as I pushed in even farther._

_When I met her barrier, I stopped._

"_You're sure, Bella?" I asked, wanting to make sure she was ready for this._

_She smiled. "I love you, Edward. I want this. I want you. Do it."_

"_Ok"_

_Not wanting to make the pain even more painful, I thrust into her fast, breaking her hymen, making her mine._

_Bella's face contorted in pain and her nails dug into my back as she bit down on my shoulder to keep from screaming out._

_I stopped._

_I could feel her muscles contracting, trying to adjust to my size, her body not used to the foreign invasion._

_But, I needed to move soon. I was so hard and I was fighting the urge not to just pound into her._

"_Bella," I said "Are you ok?"_

"_Yes, it just hurts." She said, her voice strained._

"_I know, baby. I know. I'm sorry. Do you want to stop?" I asked._

"_No, it's ok. Just move please." She replied._

_I pulled out of her and went back in, going agonizingly slow, trying to make it last long and not hurt her at the same time._

_In and out._

_In and out, I went. Going slow, always pulling all the way out and going all the way in._

_Bella then grabbed my ass and pushed me against her._

"_Faster, Edward. I need you to go faster." She moaned._

_I complied and started going even faster, pulling out and slamming back into her._

"_Oh God. Yes, Edward. God!" Bella said, hoarsely._

_I could feel my release coming on fast and I went even faster, trying to get my release._

"_You're so tight…wet…FUCK, Bella." I yelled._

_After a few more thrusts, I felt Bella clench around me and she screamed out my name._

"_Oh, Edward." She bellowed, her body shaking._

_I followed shortly after, calling out Bella's name._

"_Bella!" I shouted, my cock pulsing inside her, my body releasing myself into her._

_I buckled on top of her before rolling myself off of her, slipping out of her, both of us panting, trying to catch out breath._

_I gathered Bella in my arms and she snuggled against my chest._

"_I love you, Bella. I'm sorry that I hurt you." I said with remorse._

_She smiled weakly. "It's ok, Edward. Don't you ever be sorry, ok? I love you." She said fiercely._

_I nodded and kissed her._

***Flashback over***

But, that was then and this is now.

She never loved me. Not ever.

She used me for my love and what I could do for her.

Those 3 years we had together meant nothing now and all the trust we had built up was gone. She destroyed our relationship and I didn't know if I could ever trust her again

In less that a couple of seconds she had tore down our love and for what?

Some guy that didn't give two shits about her? Some guy that just wanted to get in her pants?

Well he could have her.

I was done with the bitch and he could fuck her all he wanted. It made no difference to me.

_Fuck, her._

But, I knew I didn't want that.

I didn't want anyone ever touching her that way. I wanted her all for myself.

I had always loved Bella and I always will.

And I hated her for that.

**A/N:**

**So, that was long.**

**Tell me what you think!!**


	3. Girl Fight

**A/N:**

**Thanks for all the reviews.**

**And if you didn't figure it out, Bella "cheated" on Edward.**

_**What hurts the most was being so close. **_

_**And having so much to say and watching you walk away. **_

_**And never knowing what could have been **_

**_And not seeing loving you is what I was trying to do.--_What Hurts The Most-Rascal Flatts**

**BPOV**

"Please, let me in! Let me explain!" I shouted, banging on Edward's door, trying to get him to answer it.

Nothing.

I put my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything. I heard what I thought was a TV and I knew he was home.

His car was in the parking lot and I could see his bedroom light on.

"Come on, Edward! Give me a chance. It wasn't what it looked like. I swear." I yelled, still banging on his door.

Looking around me, I noticed that people were starting to stare at me.

I'm sure I looked crazy, too.

I was in black yoga pants, tennis shoes, and a black oversized hoodie, with my hair in a messy ponytail.

I looked chaotic to say the least.

Knocking on the door a couple of more times, I gave up.

Yelling and pleaded was getting me nowhere. He didn't want to see me. In all honesty, I couldn't blame him. I wouldn't want to see me either.

Giving up, I turned and my back was against the door and I stood there contemplating my choices.

I could call him, but he wouldn't answer. Coming to his house had been a mistake, obviously.

Maybe I could send him a letter? No, he'd probably just throw it away.

My brain was on total lockdown and I couldn't think of anything else that I could do.

Out of options, I slumped on the door, sliding down, sitting on my butt on Edward's doorstep.

I felt totally and utterly alone.

Tears formed in my eyes and my head fell back, hitting Edward's door.

And then I cried.

I cried for me and how I had just lost the man that meant everything to me.

I cried for him, because I knew how much he must be hurting.

I cried for his family, because they had to see Edward shut them out.

But mostly, I cried because I wasn't sure if Edward would ever take me back--ever.

And that thought sent me into a torrent of tears. They poured out of my eyes, wetting my cheeks, and I couldn't stop them.

Then, it started to rain. Not light, soft rain.

But hard, heavy rain.

It soaked my clothes and my hair, making me looked like a drowned rat.

I heard a car pull up and park. I heard them shut their door and could hear their footsteps approach me.

"Bella?" I heard the voice say.

Looking up, I found myself peering into the face of none other than Rosalie.

When she saw my face, hers scowled.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she growled at me.

I shook my head. "Trying to get him to listen." I croaked, my voice ragged from my crying.

"Edward doesn't want you. So why don't you go the fuck away and leave him alone. Hell, leave this_ whole _family alone. You've done enough damage for one lifetime."

"I cant," I whispered loud enough for her to hear me. "I love him. You have to believe me. Please." I begged.

She snorted. "Begging will get you nowhere. We all know what happened, Bella. And there is no excuse for what you did."

Rosalie was right. There was no excuse for what I did.

I was a lowlife.

I was the scum of the earth.

"Do you even know what you did to him? An innocent man? You killed him, Bella. Do you know why he stays in his house all the time and never leaves? He is drunk, Bella. All he does is drink now. Constantly. Emmett came by the other day and Edward answered the door and passed out on him."

My eyes widened in horror at her words.

Edward was drinking?

I had never really seen him get drunk before. Sure, he had drank, but never had he gotten hammered either.

"I-I didn't know that."I murmured, not sure what else to say.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't know that. You don't ever think about anyone but yourself."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, hanging my head down, ashamed at myself.

Rosalie put one hand on her hip, the other holding an umberella. "Sorry doesn't change anything. Now get out of my fucking way. I need to see, Edward. _I _actually care about him."

Standing up, I moved aside letting her get to the door.

She reached in her pocket and fished out a key.

_My_ key.

The one Edward gave me.

In Rosalie's pocket.

_That bitch._

Then something inside me broke.

And then I lunged at her.

I threw myself at her, curling my fingers in her skanky blonde hair and started pulling.

Rosalie screamed and we fell to the pavement, me on top of Rosalie.

Letting go of her hair, I reached for her hand and tried to grab the key out of her hand, but she pulled her hand back, seeing what I was after.

Now, I was straddling her and her hands were above her head, trying to keep the key out of my grasp.

Suddenly, her foot came out of nowhere and hit me in the back, temporarily knocking the breath out of me.

_Fuck, that shit hurt. Blondie got a leg on her._

Using her advantage she rolled me off of her and attempted to stand up.

_Not so fast, bitch._

After gaining my breath back, I grabbed her ankle and pulled her back down and she landed on her big ass.

I clawed my way up her back and grabbed her hair again, pulling her head back.

"You fucking bitch. What the hell is wrong with you?" Rosalie screeched.

Her arms started flailing and I gripped her hand that held the key and snatched the key out of her perfectly manicured hand.

_Victory!_

She was screaming and I heard a door open and someone run up to us and grab my waist and pull me up against their chest.

I knew that chest.

"What in the fucking hell is going on here?" a velvety voice demanded.

Turning around, I twisted out of his grasp and met him face to face.

He was even more beautiful than before.

"You gave that skank my key." I yelled.

His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled a deep breath.

"It's not your key anymore, Bella. And it never will be. You gave that chance up. So give it back to Rosalie." he said and opening his eyes.

His eyes were cold and held no emotion.

My face dropped and I felt as if I was going to throw up.

I could feel the tears threatening to overflow, so I got out of there.

I ran to my car and tripped on the way there into a mud puddle.

Crying, I picked myself up and assessed any damages.

I has a bloody lip and a cut on my face; not too bad.

Muddy and wet, I arrived at my car and looked back at Edward's apartment, just knowing that he would be there making sure I was ok.

He wasn't.

**A/N:**

**Damn, Bella is a wildcat!**

**hahaha..**

**So, review and tell me how I did!!**


	4. My Black Dhalia

****

A/N:

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Some of your questions will be answered in this chapter too.**

_**I wish I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you.**_

_**And told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you.**_

**_The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through.--My Black Dhalia_-Hollywood Undead**

**EPOV**

She was outside my apartment, banging on my door.

I ignored her.

Her words were just petty excuses and I could do without them; they were all lies anyway.

Rolling out of my bed, I tried to sit up; my head was throbbing and I knew a perfect way to curb the pain.

Carefully, I made my way into the kitchen, groaning.

Bella was banging on the door even louder, shouting.

My ears were too sensitive for that.

Placing my hands over my ears, I opened a cabinet and grabbed the Jack Daniels.

_My savior._

Walking into the living room, I collapsed in the couch and grabbed the remote.

Turning on the TV, I opened the bottle and took a drink.

The alcohol made its way down my throat and instantly I felt better.

I presses the volume button and turned the sound up as high as it would go, wanting to drown out her voice and everything about her.

The drink made me forget about her. Made me forget the way she smelled, the way she laughed, the way she talked.

_Everything._

And then the banging and shouting stopped.

Confused, I got up and stumbled over to the window and peeked through.

Rosalie.

_Fuck._

I forgot she was coming.

Drawing the curtains back together, I returned to watching TV, waiting for Rosalie to come in.

Nothing.

2 minutes later, I heard Rosalie shriek. Taking a swig, I got up and headed toward the door.

Opeing the door, I saw Bella on top of Rosalie.

_Huh?_

Running up to Bella, I pulled her off of Rosalie and into my chest.

Memories flooded back to me and she felt like she belonged here.

In my arms.

I never wanted to let go.

"What in the fucking hell is going on here?" I demanded.

Bella turned around and looked me on the eye.

Her makeup was smeared and eyeliner running down her cheeks, leaving black streaks.

She was even more beautiful than before.

"You have that skank my key!" she yelled.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I closed my eyes, trying not to tell Bella the resemblance between her and a skank.

There wasn't much of one.

"It's not you key anymore, Bella. And it never will be. You gave that chance up. So give it back to Rosalie."

I wiped my face clean of any emotion and looked at her with cold, hard eyes.

Bella's face fell and she ran.

I watched her run and she tripped into the mud. Looking away, I offered Rosalie my hand and helped her up.

She grabbed my hand and I led her inside, never looking back.

Once inside my apartment, I walked back over to my couch and grabbed the bottle, drinking the last of its contents and then throwing the bottle to the floor.

I went back in the kitchen and grabbed another bottle, when Rosalie came in from the bathroom, towel drying her hair.

She saw the bottle in my hands and her face looked shocked. "Edward!" she chided. "What are you doing? How many bottles have you had today?"

"I don't know." I replied, not caring, walking back into the living room with Rosalie following, and plopped on the couch.

I opened the bottle and started drinking, looking up at Rosalie.

She shook her head. "Edward you can't do this to yourself. Emmett and I are worried about you. It's been two weeks and all you do is drink. And Esme is going crazy. She worries the most out of everybody. We love you, Edward. Please don't do this. I know you just want to forget her. Let us help you. We love you, Edward."

"You can't help me!" I said, angry. "No one can help me. Unless you can reverse time and change what happened."

She stoppped with the towel and shook her hair as I took another long gulp of alcohol.

"Whatever, Edward. Emmett sent me over here to make sure you weren't dead or anything."

"Looks like I'm all intact."

"Yea, everything but your mind."

"Shutup, Rosalie."

"Well I'm just fucking saying. I hate to see you like this. You need to be at least 99% sober for me and Emmett's wedding."

"I'm not coming."

"Why the hell not? You are the best man! You have to come!" she yelled.

I covered my ears; if she thought I was going to a wedding filled with couples, love, and wedding vows, she was fucking nuts.

"Because I don't want to go. I'm not in the mood. So could you please leave me alone?"

She dropped the towel she had in her hand and got in my face, pointing a finger in my chest.

"You listen here, Edward Cullen. I don't give a shit about you and your fucked up relationship with Bella. She's a whore, she cheated, you dumped her, end of story. Now get over it and sober up. I will drag you by your fucking ankles if you don't."she said, glaring at me.

I was angry now; she didn't know anything about me and Bella. "Fuck you bitch." I sneered and got off the couch and brushed my way past her and into my bedroom, making sure to bring the Jack Daniels with me.

Locking the door behind me, I crawled in the bed and laid down.

"Edward! You can't hide forever. Sooner or later you will have to come out of this dirty, stinking house." I heard Rosalie say behind the door, the barrier muffling her voice.

"Whatever," I called out to her. "Just go home, Rosalie."

She huffed and I heard her footsteps retreat.

A few seconds later, my front door slammed and I heard tires squeal out of the parking lot.

I got out of the bed and unlocked my door, dragging myself back into the living room and on the couch.

I turned the TV louder and took 4 big gulps of alcohol, turning my thoughts toward the program.

But my thoughts just kept going back to_ her._

_Bella. Beautiful Bella._

I just wanted to touch her, even if it was just for second.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her.

I wanted to feel her on my body, watch her face as she climaxed, and watch myself slide in and out of her.

_Fuck._

I looked down and saw that I was hard.

"Great," I muttered to myself.

Trying to get out of bed was painful, but I made it anyway.

I stumbled into the shower and turned it on cold, setting my Jack on the counter.

Stepping in the shower, I let my thought reverse back to Bella, grabbing my dick out of my boxers.

I thought about getting her naked and kissing her tits. I thought about licking up and down her pussy and burying my face in there, never leaving.

I thought about rubbing my hands up and down her thighs as I ate her out, pinching her clit with my fingers, rolling it around as she screamed my name.

Rubbing my cock furiously, I could feel myself getting closer.

Then, I thought about shoving my cock in her pussy, her on top, tits bouncing.

An image of her lips wrapped around my dick struck in my mind, her hot, wet mouth on me.

With that thought, I orgasmed and my cum shot out on my hand.

I inhaled deeply, trying to regain normal breathing on my lungs after panting.

I sighed and washed my hand off, letting the white sustance run down into the drain.

Getting out of the shower, I took off my wet boxers and shirt and threw them in the shower.

Reaching for the bottle, I finished it with one last sip and I went to get another one out of the kitchen.

Coming back in my room, I collapsed on my bed, not willing to think about my beautiful girl.

I drank down the third bottle and quickly chugged down 6 more.

Content that I was finally drunk, I lugged the bottles across my room, the glass shattering everywhere.

I ripped my sheets and flung my pictures across my room.

I broke my mirror and punched a hole in the wall, my knuckles now bloody.

I was pissed. I wanted her back.

I was angry that she let this happen to us.

I was the best goddamn thing in her life.

My room now destroyed, I staggered across my room, going to get more alcohol, the glass shards cutting into my feet.

Then, a sharp pain cut across my knee and I fell face forward to the floor.

I felt the glass in my face, sticking to my skin, and I felt blood trickle down my forehead.

But I didn't care.

All I could think about was her.

**A/N:**

**I hope that answered some questions!**

**Edward and Rosalie are just friends or fixing to be brother and sister-in-law.**

**And no, Edward isn't the 'cutting' type. He is just drunk and he doesn't care, but he wouldn't intentionally hurt himself.**

**Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

**Thanks from the bottom of my heart for the reviews...it makes me feel loved. :)**

**And so I just found ANOTHER trailer of New Moon. It's in french though and it had new scenes!!! Omg, I freaked out when I saw it, so head on over to youtube!! You will flip in your seat. Literally. But I couldnt understand, because obviously its in French and I dont speak it, but still you get to see the video!! Go see! You won't be sorry.**

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**BPOV**

When I got home, I took a shower and removed the remnants of all the dirt and mud off myself. I brushed off the caked on mud off my jeans and threw them in the washer. I highly doubted I was going to get that stain out.

Looking in the bathroom mirror, I noticed the cut on my lip was very red and the side of my face that had the cut was now swelling. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair wet and sleek. I looked like shit to say the least.

I pulled on some sofie shorts and a tank top and went into the kitchen. I grabbed a box of Cheez-its and went back in my room. I got in my bed and pulled the covers up and picked up the remote. I turned on the TV and snuggled under the warm cover, wallowing in misery.

I couldn't believe what had happened.

He gave her my key. And I just couldn't help myself. I felt as if he was ending our relationship. I felt as if that was the end of things and that he was moving on. I wouldn't let him do that. He needed me, I needed him.

We were two parts of a whole.

I _needed_ him.

But, he just refused to believe that I loved him and still wanted him. I mean, I fucking beat Rosalie's ass in the rain to get his key! If that ain't love, then I didn't know what love was.

I had even stayed away from Jacob. I hadn't seen or talked to him since that fateful day. I would gladly give up Jacob for Edward. I liked Jacob, but I _loved_ Edward. It was just a moment of weakness, that's all.

A mistake. That's it.

Then my mind was filled with that day, the day it happened, the day Edward had seen me and Jacob. It had been an accident. It wasn't supposed to happen, it just did.

Jacob has been my friend since I was 5. My step-dad was an alcholic who hit my mom, so I moved in with my real dad, Charlie, and met Jacob. He was nice to me and we became friends and stayed that way.

All throughout high school, I liked Jacob as more than a friend. He helped me get through a new school and he always took care of me.

Until I graduated high school and moved away from Forks, where Jacob stayed. I went back to Phoenix and took care of my mother. My step-dad had decided to leave my mom. He was drunk.

And I was glad he was leaving her. I didn't want him to hit my mom anymore and I hated leaving her there with him. But she told me that she wanted what was best for me.

Then, mom started coughing up blood and I took her to the doctor. That's when we found out she had lung cancer. Apparently, it was caused by her smoking, which I never knew she did.

That's how I met Edward.

He was my mom's doctor and told me that she had had the cancer for awhile now and it was spreading rapidly. 6 months later she died.

We had been dating up until that time and when my mom died, he was there with me when I got the news. He held me and took care of me, letting me stay with him and even taking off a couple of days from work to be with me.

I didn't know what I would have done without him.

I was devastated. But I had Edward. We were together and he was what I needed. He helped me get through it and I told him about my step-dad and how he hit my mom. My mom had been my life. I loved her with everything I had.

Then I had Edward.

Jacob was long forgotten.

Three years later he showed up at my doorstep. I was suprised to say the least, but happy to see him. He told me he had heard about my mom, but he had to stay and help his dad. So, I understood.

Me and Jacob talked and talked all afternoon. I told him I missed him and he said that he has missed me too. And that's when it happened. He kissed me. I was stunned, I didn't know what to do.

So, I didn't do anything. Jacob grabbed my arms and set me in his lap and then started kissing my neck.

And somewhere in my mind called out to me, telling me this is what I had been wanting. That all through high school, this was all I wanted was for Jacob to love me and kiss me. I had needed him as more than just a friend then.

But then I reasoned with myself. I had Edward and I didn't need Jacob anymore. Jacob was a thing of the past. He had his chance and he never took it. But, Edward did.

_Edward._

My body suddenly came to life and I tried to get Jacob off of me, but I guess he took my passiveness as agreement. I kepr grabbing his arms, trying to protest and push him off of me, but he wouldn't listen, taking my anger for passion.

At that exact moment, I heard the door being unlocked and Jacob did too, and looked up at the door at the same time Edward walked in.

I froze, my eyes widened.

Edward's eyes went from confusion, to shock, and then finally setting on anger. His face turned red and he dropped a bag that he was carrying and whatever was in it, hit the floor and shattered on the ground.

I flinched and Jacob let go of me. And that's when I realized that I was still in Jacob's lap and his hands were holding onto my hips.

No wonder.

I flew out of his lap and ran to Edward, grabbing onto his upper arms. He scowled at me and snatched his arms out of my hands.

"Don't touch me, slut." He sneered and walked off into the bedroom.

I just stood there and looked back at Jacob.

"Get the hell out of my house and don't come back, Jacob," I told him.

He grimaced and got up off the couch. "Is that your boyfriend?" He asked.

I nodded and he left.

I decided to go check on Edward and my bedroom door was shut. I turned the knob and pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Clothes were scattered everywhere, drawers open, and clothes hanging out of them. Two suitcases were on the bed, both open, with some more clothes haphazardly thrown in there.

Edward them came out of the bathroom and chunked a toothbrush and toothpaste in the bags.

And that's when it hit me.

Edward was leaving.

He always kept clothes over here, becase he mostly stayed over here with me most days.

No, he couldn't leave. Not now. I had to make him understand. He would, I told myself.

It was simple misunderstanding. I would get him to reason. Edward just stood beside the bags, his eyes and face red, and he was complusively running his hands through his hair, making it even more messy.

He stared at me and I tears gathered in my eyes and I tried to blink them back.

"E-Edward, can we--" I started.

"No," Edward interrupted, his voice harsh and cold. "There is nothing to talk about and nothing you can explain. I don't want to hear any of your bullshit, Bella. I've tried to be patient with you and God knows I've given you time. I know it broke you when your mom died, but it's been years. And I fucking _loved _you, Bella. I would have given you anything you asked, but you are a selfish whore. Always taking and never giving. So this time I'm taking my ass and leaving. If you want him, then you can have him. Tell him we are over. And don't try to contact me, because I won't listen."

And with that he zipped his bags up, grabbed them, and left my apartment, never saying another word.

**A/N:**

**So there you go!**

**That's why Edward is so mad at Bella.**

**I just want to hit Bella over the head with a 4x4 and knock some sense into her. hahaha.**

**And I know it's short, but I wanted this to be by itself.**

**A penny for your thoughts?**


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